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WEEK 22, A BIRTHDAY & A NEW LANDING SPOT

This week I’ve been so torn about having rented a little landing spot. So I found this tiny house in the hills of San Ramón, surrounded by coffee fields, the purest rural area and I can hear howler monkeys in the mornings (mind blown)

Some days I feel like I’m cheating on “van life”. But then I think, one of the beauties about this lifestyle is that each person does what works for them. I’ve been so slammed with work, I have been putting way too much money into my hotspot and hotels, just to make money – it was not making sense! So for now, this works for me. Funny enough, I slept in the house just 1 night and it was enough to know that I wanted to keep sleeping in the van. 

So, no, it’s not a home. It’s a house, that was cheaper than paying for storage. And I have comforts, yet the van is home. And the van is right next to the house, and it’s where I hang out and I sleep. It’s my safe place. This week was Easter Week in Costa Rica. It’s the one week where pretty much 90% of the population heads outdoors to visit beaches and mountains. The traffic and the crowds are out of this world. Add to that, this is the first full holiday week with no Covid restrictions. This little landing spot could not have come at a better time. 

So in the eyes of people who follow my social media, this was a very boring week. To me, it was a new type of bliss. On Tuesday, I worked all day with steady Wi-Fi, didn’t need to check how much data was left – having to turn it on and off just to save as much as I could. I also binged on Netflix, while I worked. AND, add to that, I did all my laundry. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to do these 3 things, together, in a day. Little things right?

When I first decided to buy my van, a read a book called “The Year of Less” by Cait Flanders. I learned so much about minimizing and fast-forward 4 years since I read the book, I’m still learning. I have learned to live with little. If I splurge in a month it’s on food, or when I would pay for a hotel here and there. I really do not need more than what I already have in the van. Having this new space just spiraled all these thoughts of “needing stuff”. So here’s a bit of the thought process for this week. 

Shopping list items: Dish drying rack, broom, pillows, blankets, lamp, full-length mirror, mirror for bathroom, shower rack, shelf for bathroom, and the list goes on. As I stepped into the van to buy all these things I thought, I don’t NEED any of them! The dishes dry perfectly fine next to the sink. I have enough pillows and blankets in the van for an army. Do I really want to see myself in a full-length mirror? Hah! Racks, shelves, I don’t need any of this. 

All the furniture in this little house belongs to my son. I sit on the old couch, way too soft and it’s so hard to get up. Maybe I’ll go buy a nice couch and then he can have it when he needs it. No, I don’t need a new couch *rolls eyes*

What about the walls? They’re so white and empty, maybe I can go buy a couple of paintings or something to decorate. I love throwing my shoes in baskets, maybe I can buy a basket, just one. Outdoor seating would be great. Yet, I didn’t need any of these things. Van life has taught me well, it’s easy to get caught up though. 

So this was week 22 of my life. I hid in this little landing spot. I sat outside with a sweater, socks, and slippers. I caught up on my reading, my writing, work, cleaning the van, and Netflix. And it’s good, I’m good with this. 

I ALMOST FORGOT! This week was also my 51st birthday. I did not celebrate other than having my kids over for the day. This year is different. I recently walked away from my entire family, for reasons 99% of them do not know. A story of lies, deceit, and years of manipulation, the kind you only tell around a campfire when you’re drunk. So that’s for another day! But, I did come across this quote this week, and nothing so far has rung so true. 

CUT OFF THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY… Love them but stay away if they no longer add up, not all mothers and fathers love and defend. Some only fight for their personal ideas. There are families so hurtful and harmful that the distance becomes the only enemy. 
There are relatives who betray, who steal, speak badly, gossip, and envy us. There are relatives who want to see you well, but never want to see you better than them. Those who meet to speak badly of you and among them comfort themselves making you seem like there’s something wrong with you, the black sheep. They do sides to discredit you, thinking that they are better than you. They are not.
There are families that are only for us when it suits them and to continue using us in the name of the blood that binds us. Let’s stop romanticizing the family, the partner, parents, and brothers/sisters. We need to grow, evolve, heal, and set boundaries. It is necessary to see the shadow, the dark side of our tree, and have the strength to move away from what has damaged us for so many years. We have to be our priority and stop suffering for relatives who only steal our energy. Everyone who plays that “family” card, recognize them, but don’t be part of their wounds, their anger, their abandonment, their hypocrisy, their manipulation. 

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